Woah...I still know how to write on this thing...
it's been a minute or two.
Life has been in full swing with school, work, work, sleep, recently an occasional workout.
Da blog took da back seat.
I don't know how people do so many activities in college...I do none besides work, and sometimes it feels like a one way ticket to Haitis.
I've been wanting to focus a lot more on my beauty blog, but like everything else I want to do, it's a very long process to completion. Right now, it's in the preparation stages in my head. To be honest, it'll probably be there the rest of my life.
Lately, after I hit that 20 year mark, I am already started to feel that 20s slump.
People say, "Your twenties are the best years of your life."
Other people say, it's a time to realize you have absolutely nothing put together in your life.
I'm sitting pretty at option B.
You see people settling down, getting serious, getting engaged, having babies.
I guess I haven't reached that point (also haven't had any prospects to get me to that point).
But to be honest, it terrifies me. Next stop commitment? I'll just keep riding the bus.
Avoid at all costs.
This weekend, I visited my sister, and we went to Zombie Burger in Des Moines.
The wait was over an hour, and while we were standing there, a girl walked by.
By "girl", I mean she was maybe 3 years old.
The look she gave me intimidated me.
Her eyes said, "I have my life more put together than you."
And she's probably right.
I feel like I make a string of bad choices that all very much resemble each other.
I'm stuck in a repeating cycle that I can't get out of.
I know what I'm doing will catch up to hurt me, but I can't stop myself in the moment.
And then six weeks later when I realize, ehhh not such a good idea, it's too late.
One way ticket to an emotional breakdown.
And it's not just that I make bad decisions in the present. It's the fact that people think I can make good decisions for the future.
"What's your major?"
"What's that?"
"What are you going to do with that?"
"When are you graduating?"
"Are you going to the career fair, interview, presentation...?"
Are you going to shut up? Because I can't even make a logical decision for breakfast.
Your words need to cease.
And yet, I'm not worried about it.
I'm not worried about my future husband.
I guess I'm a firm believer in not getting too serious, too young.
We grow and evolve, and I don't know if it's possible with one person.
We live in a completely different world than our grandparents. Our grandmas didn't have to worry about our grandpas having a Tinder profile, Snapchat best friends, texting.
(excuse the profanity.)
Is it possible in this day and age? I don't know yet.
I make bad decisions when it comes to boys.
Shun me to hell, but I've had my share of taken boys, going back to exes, a combination of the two.
And obviously if I make decisions like that, I wouldn't make the right pick of the "forever one."
People will have their opinions of that, but I just don't care.
I know that life will work out.
I know I don't want to be sitting in Iowa for the rest of my life.
We can only predict and control what happens to a certain extent.
All these actions will make sense someday. Mostly it'll probably me saying, "I thought I was an idiot in the moment, and look, I really was."
I have to sign off on this post though. I haven't typed anything of such massive proportions for a lengthy period of time, and it's literally giving me carpal tunnel.
I hope you all are making terrible, young life decisions as well.
Later Haters. <3
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Hopefully no more writing droughts of approximately 6 months.
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