Greetings From Planet Young and Foolish

Woah...I still know how to write on this thing...

it's been a minute or two.

Life has been in full swing with school, work, work, sleep, recently an occasional workout.

Da blog took da back seat. 

I don't know how people do so many activities in college...I do none besides work, and sometimes it feels like a one way ticket to Haitis. 

I've been wanting to focus a lot more on my beauty blog, but like everything else I want to do, it's a very long process to completion. Right now, it's in the preparation stages in my head. To be honest, it'll probably be there the rest of my life. 

Lately, after I hit that 20 year mark, I am already started to feel that 20s slump.

People say, "Your twenties are the best years of your life."

Other people say, it's a time to realize you have absolutely nothing put together in your life.

I'm sitting pretty at option B. 

You see people settling down, getting serious, getting engaged, having babies. 

I guess I haven't reached that point (also haven't had any prospects to get me to that point).

But to be honest, it terrifies me. Next stop commitment? I'll just keep riding the bus. 

Avoid at all costs. 

This weekend, I visited my sister, and we went to Zombie Burger in Des Moines.

The wait was over an hour, and while we were standing there, a girl walked by.

By "girl", I mean she was maybe 3 years old. 

The look she gave me intimidated me.

Her eyes said, "I have my life more put together than you."

And she's probably right. 

I feel like I make a string of bad choices that all very much resemble each other.

I'm stuck in a repeating cycle that I can't get out of. 

I know what I'm doing will catch up to hurt me, but I can't stop myself in the moment. 

And then six weeks later when I realize, ehhh not such a good idea, it's too late.

One way ticket to an emotional breakdown.

And it's not just that I make bad decisions in the present. It's the fact that people think I can make good decisions for the future. 

"What's your major?"

"What's that?"

"What are you going to do with that?"

"When are you graduating?"

"Are you going to the career fair, interview, presentation...?"

Are you going to shut up? Because I can't even make a logical decision for breakfast.

Your words need to cease.

And yet, I'm not worried about it. 

I'm not worried about my future husband. 

I guess I'm a firm believer in not getting too serious, too young.

We grow and evolve, and I don't know if it's possible with one person.

We live in a completely different world than our grandparents. Our grandmas didn't have to worry about our grandpas having a Tinder profile, Snapchat best friends, texting.

(excuse the profanity.)

Is it possible in this day and age? I don't know yet. 

I make bad decisions when it comes to boys.

Shun me to hell, but I've had my share of taken boys, going back to exes, a combination of the two.

And obviously if I make decisions like that, I wouldn't make the right pick of the "forever one."

People will have their opinions of that, but I just don't care.

I know that life will work out.

I know I don't want to be sitting in Iowa for the rest of my life.

We can only predict and control what happens to a certain extent.

All these actions will make sense someday. Mostly it'll probably me saying, "I thought I was an idiot in the moment, and look, I really was."

I have to sign off on this post though. I haven't typed anything of such massive proportions for a lengthy period of time, and it's literally giving me carpal tunnel. 

I hope you all are making terrible, young life decisions as well.

Later Haters. <3

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Like and share.

Hopefully no more writing droughts of approximately 6 months.

Find me on:

Twitter: @Alannajean2013

Instagram: livelovelan

Snapchat: livelovelan

Life Lessons from Lan.

My gawd...has it really been three weeks since the last time I wrote a blog post here.

Yikes...been so busy I guess! Online classes, graduations, weddings, babysitting...I thought summer was supposed to be down time, but that's fine.

But anyhoo....

this summer I think has really been a summer of personal growth for me.

For many reasons.

First off, I'm starting to see where my life is heading. 

High school is great, but that's not who you are. The latest thing at my ex high school is a page telling people's "hook ups." I'm so glad I am past that part in my life...so glad. To the people running that page, encouraging that page, where is your life heading? The drama and no class express. Because even if you aren't the one participating, just following the account gives them ammunition. Open your eyes, kids. 

In high school, I talked behind people's backs SO MUCH. And now, I just don't know how I did it. I mean, I'm a girl, I gossip here and there, but I really have learned that redirecting the conversation is much better. Don't have any words pinned to you that you don't want pinned there. If your life was a Pinterest board, you would want cuddles and happiness pinned there, not hate. 

College teaches you some things in life just aren't acceptable. Saying "that's so gay"...yeah, you can't do that. Or "retarded." Or anything remotely offensive. And honestly, life is so much better without it. Those words aren't needed, required, feel good words, so why use them?

I realize you have to live your life with a purpose. If you are using those words, talking about this person, promoting a harassing account, your purpose must be to hurt as many people in life as possible. To throw as much poison into the atmosphere as possible. You can't contradict yourself. "I really believe in Jesus Christ and all he has done for me." Then show that...that's not doing the things above. It's not getting drunk every weekend. It's showing whatever it is your life purpose is. Live for Christ, be kind, whatever. Actions speak louder than words. 

I have realized that life doesn't always have a direct path. I switched my major in my mind every day, but I think I'm at a good place. And if I'm not, guess what I can switch it again. There is no right and wrong when it comes to what you're going to do with your life. Unless it's dealing meth or being a pimp...that's questionable.

One of the HUGE things I have realized this summer is that I don't need no man. I will be the first one to admit I could be clingy, I could be this, I could be that. But it's solely because I felt like I NEEDED those relationships. All I've learned is that most of those relationships are poison. But ever since I was young, I felt like I needed that approval from boys. I don't need their approval because I am giving myself my own stamp of approval.

This kid messaged me after a year, only to ignore me again. Boys make no sense. And I don't need them. I feel comfortable not texting someone 23 out of the 24 hours in a day. When the right person comes around, they'll come around.

I guess, the path of this post is kind of like life. Kind of random, but not right or wrong. I just want to encourage people to really think about their actions, to understand themselves, and not need approval. That isn't too much to ask, right? 

_________________________

Thanks for reading, ya'll! Please be sure to like, share, follow, etc etc. 

Twitter: @alannajean2013

Instagram: lanlanbaby

Tumblr: preciouslylan

Ask: ask.fm/alannahill

Email: ahill1325@gmail.com

Love always, Lan. 

Identicals: Cats and Bad Boys

So this blog post came out of my little noggin.

I don't really know if any other person on this earth would be odd enough to concoct this theory besides myself.

And the name of the game is:

how cats and bad boys are almost the same thing.

The two are very similar and we chase them for the same reasons.

Now...hang with me, folks. It's actually probably the newest scientific discovery. 

It'll be in list format, so if you don't dig that, byeee. 

------------------------------------------

1. Both are very mysterious.

Bad boys: mysterious because they don't give you any hint at their thoughts.

Cats:mysterious because... what the heck are they doing ever.

2. Neither really wants to take pictures with you.

Bad boys: don't want to take a picture with you because their other girlfriends would see it.

Cats: just uncooperative jerks.

3. If it's a bad boy or a cat, either way, it ain't listening to you.

Bad boys: "do what they want."

Cats: also do what they want...I've had my cat for 7 years now and she still acts like she doesn't know her name. 

4. No matter how much you shower them with love, it's definitely not going to make them love you.

Bad boys: you can give them all the love and affection you want, but that does not mean he will ever want to marry you.

Cats: cats will only want to give you affection when you're really not feeling it. They have a sensor, they know. When you want to snuggle, they just run, scratch, bite. 

5. They might secretly enjoy the gifts you give them, but they'll never let you know.

Bad boy: a bad boy might be using you, so you should not be showering them with your gift giving abilities. 

Cat: Forget the gift...just give them the packaging.

6. They ignore you.

Bad boys: They will ignore your calls, texts, snapchats, Facebook messages, etc. without the bat of an eye.

Cats: As said earlier, they'll ignore their name. Ignore no. Ignore stop. Ignore ignore ignore. I guess the difference is that cats just do it straight to your face.

 

7. But you are absolutely expected to be there for them whenever they deem it.

Bad boys: Yes, they can do whatever they want. No, you may not. Bad boys have a way of controlling of your mind and actions.

Cats: When you want love, forget about it. When they want food, they won't let you forget about it.

8. You can't help but wanting them to love you.

Bad boys: It's the thrill of the chase. I don't know why as humans we do that to ourselves. We want what we can't have. Because a bad boy does not want what we want. But there's always the "what if." Yeah, that's not ever going to happen.

Cats: Again, the thrill of the chase. Maybe just maybe someday they'll do exactly what you want. But once again, not going to happen.

(this gif has absolutely nothing to do with anything...i just die every time I watch it.)

9. They might do one cute thing every six months, but that one cute thing makes everything worth it, right?

Bad boys: they brought you flowers they found in the garbage behind their drug house...that's so cute.

Cats: so stupid, they don't realize they did anything. And what they did probably wasn't all that cute, but of course it was!

10. They'll miss you when you're gone.

Bad boys: when they're 80 and alone, they'll realize you were the bomb diggity. "Baby, I was wrong."

Cats: even if they don't show it, cats miss you a ton when you leave them. Whether a day or months, they love you.

In the end, which is superior, a cat or a bad boy?

The cat for sure. Bad boys are just troubled souls afraid to grow up, afraid to commit. 

Cats are just innocent little critters. Also fuzzy and soft. 

So I mean...boys just started off with the shorter stick, but didn't make up for it.

Remember: 

Sorry, this was so heavily cat picture based. But I mean...I love the felines.

Thank you so much for reading!

Remember to send me ideas, thoughts, opinions, etc! An open book.

Twitter: @alannajean2013

Instagram: lanlanbaby

Ask: ask.fm/alannahill

Facebook: Alanna Jean Hill

The "Finals" of the Year

As I sit in this hall eating Panda Express in between one final and the next, I'm stopping and thinking back on my first year of college. It has been very tumultuous, not always fun, but I will miss it dearly.

Next year, I won't be able to say "I don't know what's going on, but it's okay, I'm just a freshmen."
Next year, it will be "I'm a sophomore and I'm an idiot."

So that'll be awkward.

It's weird to think that we won't be the youngest little tikes on the playground anymore.
A new wave of fresh meat will come in; but in college, you'll never know.

Unless you show your ID on the orange route or try to get on the bus through the back doors.
(Don't do that.)

One of the things I am most sad about is leaving my little 208 Maple Forbes forever. That room and I have been through a lot of stuff.
Whether it be roommate problems, boy problems, Netflix marathons, nap time...

that room has been really good to me.
So I'm just trying to give him street cred.

(I just dropped fried rice all over my keyboard.)

The year has seen its fair share of boys.
The ending of a summer fling.
2 athletes.
1 Frat boy.
And guess what, in the end, the ATHLETES are nicer than the FART boys.
(hehe see what I did there.)
If you need reference, you can read the post about what that stink in' frat boy did to me)
And guess what, I didn't find love once.
Those fairy tales about finding your husband in college...yeah, not seeing it.

I made the choice to not go out and drink.
Sometimes I regret it, most the time I don't.
Life is so much too precious to spend it under the influence or risk getting in trouble that could change your whole life.
Coming from genes of alcoholism, I don't want to risk that either.
And then there's meeting boys at parties...but do I really want some guy who has had too many shots and won't remember me tomorrow? No I'll pass.
I hope to go out more next year, but this year was the path I chose to walk.

And then I guess there's the school aspect of college.
Changed my idea for a major almost every day, didn't get all A's.
And that's hard going from valedictorian to not perfect..but do I care?
No.
People need to realize grades are not what make life.
When you go to your job interview, I PROMISE they won't ask you what your GPA was.
The real world isn't your Econ and Geology grade.
I studied one day for my midterms. WHO CARES PEOPLE.
take a chill pill...or ten.

Friends...am I sure I've made lifelong friends?
No.
I think it'll is to be seen.
Friends in dorms are there because you're all there.
It's when you go your separate ways and if you remain friends that matters.

So now is the time to pass the freshmen torch from the Class of 2017 to the Class of 2018.
You will get lost, you will cry, you will miss your mom, you will get a bad test grade...but it'll be fine.
And even though I don't know about 5000 people in my grade, I'm sure they're cool with me doing this.
Good luck little muffins!

(Sorry I rushed this...people started coming into the building and it stressed me out. Thinking about Vlogging this summer, who knows?)

Twitter: alannajean23
Instagram: lanlanbaby
Facebook: Alanna Jean Hill

Trust Them as Far as You Can Throw Them

This post won't be funny... actually...
It's actually funny how absolutely ridiculous my life can be sometimes.
You know the when life gives you lemons saying...well that damn lemon tree is growing in my backyard.

As a girl, I have come across my fair share of complete a-hole boys. But today, today takes the cake.

So the story goes...
I met this kid on Tinder (probably my first error in this equation)
We had been hanging out, everything was actually hunky darn dory.

But ya know, all good things come to an end. And today was that point.

He invited me over to his frat (I will keep the name disclosed...I have more class than that.)
-this also was where I went wrong. I knew frat boys were a bad idea. bad bad idea.

One of the first things he said to me was to shut up...yup. Picked me up, I said two words, and he told me to shut up. So that should have forecast how the rest of the night should go.

It was going okay..but he was acting so aloof. So I simply asked him what his problem was...and that's when it all blew up.
He proceeded to laugh in my face all the while telling me how much he didn't care about me, never would, never wanted to. How he was being an ass hole just to be an ass hole. Laughing in my face...I just don't know. I didn't ask to be invited over...he did that on his own free will. My mind has actually blocked off the things he said... I can't even remember.

I don't see why it couldn't just be "Hey, this isn't working out."
Not this giant thing it had to be. So, of course, I started crying. It hurt me to my very core. But then at the end, I was just yelling. And I didn't care who in that frat house heard me. And then, he told me to walk home in the pouring rain. Walk home, in the rain.

In the end, he did give me a ride. An awkward ride in rainy silence. I'm surprised he didn't start driving when my first foot was out the door. It may have actually been better to walk in the rain...quite possibly.

Now, I came back, laid on the bathroom floor, and cried. My mom told me I needed to get my emotion out. So I'm writing this.

I just thinks this stands as a warning to every single woman out there...don't talk to boys. Do not talk to a boy unless he kisses your feet, I don't know. I have no advice because clearly I don't know what I'm doing. Just don't do it.

The worst part of it all was...people told me he was gay. But I said no..no way. And I still don't think he is...he's just a really sick person. But I should have listened to those people anyways..

Where do I go from here? I don't know...back to Tinder, Match, maybe the local prison because I doubt the men there could be any worse than the men out here. I do take blame for it partially, I'm a hopeless romantic. And maybe that's my downfall. 

My mom told me to quit talking to athletes...this kid wasn't. Maybe I should join a convent. 

But I know I have to keep going, just like all you ladies out there. We deserve so much more. We can't let one or three or sixteen boys ruin our hearts. Their hearts must already be ruined...someone out there is sitting on the toilet probably, but he might just be the guy you fall in love with forever. You should never give up on Mr. Right, just because there are so many Mr. Wrongs.

And maybe the truth is, we are our own happiness. It's okay to go to dinner, the lake, shopping alone. In the end, you're the only person who will have to be with you every day for every second for the rest of your life. So the first step is accepting and loving ourselves. And that's my first step. Right now. And I want it to be yours too.

Love and Laughter, Alanna. 

The Downfall of Juan Pablo

This season, I became an avid watcher of the Bachelor. I know that people have been obsessed with this show for years, but this is the first time I have really become engulfed in it. The reason I really started having an obsession was the gorgeous male specimen that was the Bachelor: Juan Pablo Galavis. 

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B: 

So, we have established that he is very attractive. And that held my dying devotion for a while...but...that's about where his list of good qualities ends. 

Let's face it Juan Pablo is a douche. In the end, it's rumored he picks Nikki over Crazy Clare, but it's also rumored that he chooses no one and is now with some girl named Mayra..someone not on the Bachelor. Just showing that Juan Pablo did the show for the "fame"...which is ending up not to be fame that is going to his favor.

In the end of all this, Juan Pablo is known for being a homophobic man, a sleaze ball, and just honestly really dumb.

That's Juan's biggest downfall...he has no intelligence. None. He says nothing but "It's okay." I understand that English isn't his first language, but that is not an excuse to be dumber than a sack of potatoes. Girls need someone who intellectually challenges them a bit (boys, take note.) This guy...there's nothing. 

On all the dates, about the only thing that happens is making out. Go to dinner, make out. Play baseball, make out. Roll down a hill in a giant ball, make out in the ball. He didn't care if he got to know these girls. One of the only lines I can actually remember him saying is, "______ is a really good kisser." But he also wanted to set a good example for his daughter, ya know? So he couldn't make out with a girl...but then made out with every other girl. Think about how gross that is...if you're the last girl, you've swapped spit with every other girl that night too.

Juan uses SO MANY EXCUSES. English isn't his first language. He wants to set a good example for Camilla.  But as a father, the only example you are setting for your daughter is in order for a man to fall in love with you, you will have to go on a game show with thirty other women. That's what you deserve, princess. This show (no matter how addictive) is not an organic way to find love...it's completely artificial. As a father, you should prove to your daughter that she deserves all the attention in the world...not be split among a bunch of other thirsty girls.

He also places blame on everyone but himself. It was Clare's fault what happened in the ocean. If Andi had asked to stay (which clearly she would never have done), he just wouldn't have let her stay. He tries to play the victim in everything...take some responsibility. Aren't you supposed to be a man? But he's all about the "honesty"...

And let's be honest, people who go on this show have to be defective in their lives. Why would a man who looked like this be single if he was intelligent, deep, kind, etc? He wouldn't be. And if he wanted a relationship for that matter. It is very obvious to see he is not interested in a serious relationship. He would have tried to really get to know the girls more if that had been the case. I learned more about these girls by their bios and lines under their names than anything Juan Pablo uncovered.

While I am not "Team Andi" per say, (I don't really want her to be the next Bachelorette), she was completely right about everything she said about him. Some people say it was mean, but Juan Pablo has nothing we should feel sorry about. It really helped me see..."Wait, yeah, she's right...he hasn't said anything besides, 'It's okay.'" And to a man who talks about a date with another woman to you...that is not right in any sense of the word or idea. No...just no. Let's say you're kind of talking to this guy, and he tells you about how another girl stayed over, and they just had a grand old time. Ew...he clearly is lacking every brain cell a human may need. He even sent a girl home on her birthday...like he didn't even try to find out if it was her birthday. 

I think Juan Pablo just goes to show that looks are not everything...or anything. He has the looks of a god...but his personality is a joke. And it's good that TWO girls realized that and dumped him. Boys like this are just a waste of space in the world. Beautiful appearances and then hollowness inside.

Juan...if you had only kept going as strong on the inside as your physical facade seemed to show. 

#kbyeJuanPablo

<a href="http://www.hypersmash.com">HyperSmash.com</a>

Exes for The Restes.

Exes are literally probably the worst thing that ever happened to the world.
They make dating seem like the biggest no no of life.
At one point you just loved each other, couldn't get enough of each other, and now...you literally want to kill each other.
I have many charming, kind boys I used to talk to...oh wait...
Most of the guys I talked to turned into complete... you know whats.

Here is a charming photo of a text I received from an ex...

Precious, I know...A real class act.

Now don't get me wrong...girls can be just as demonic. I'm a girl I've said some really nasty things to a guy after we quit talking...I know how it goes. 

After you quit talking, you do the mature thing. Start avoiding everything and everywhere your ex might show up. Because God knows you two can't be in the same vicinity. 

The next step after you break something off is to delete and block your ex off every social media site there is...and that is getting to be really hard because there's so many. 

And if you just can't bring yourself to do it on your own, here's a gift from me to you.

And while you're at it, if your ex happens to have gotten a new girlfriend or six, make sure to block all of them too. You do not want these rando girls having dirt on you.

And if you don't follow these steps, we all know what you'll be doing at least once an hour of day light time...and probably at three in the morning. Creeping. Don't be that person.

You also start to expect that everyone you know hates your ex and your ex's entourage. I mean, if they really love you, they'll hate them, right?

Now even if you guys never speak, it still may be World War III if you two ever do run into each other. A lot of name calling, and then calling to your mom to cry. It's just how it goes.

And eventually, hopefully, there might come a day that when he calls you a blanking blanking blank, you feel nothing. "Have fun with your new girlfriend." I'm sure you'll be just as kind to her when you guys break up...

And exes/ex flings...they really suck. But I promise you, you'll find someone (or something...like a cat) that will love you for eternity. I promise.

Happy Friday. (:

Side note: I want to apologize for anyone who tried to look at this last night. I posted it and then it deleted itself. Technology, I tell ya...