Trust Them as Far as You Can Throw Them

This post won't be funny... actually...
It's actually funny how absolutely ridiculous my life can be sometimes.
You know the when life gives you lemons saying...well that damn lemon tree is growing in my backyard.

As a girl, I have come across my fair share of complete a-hole boys. But today, today takes the cake.

So the story goes...
I met this kid on Tinder (probably my first error in this equation)
We had been hanging out, everything was actually hunky darn dory.

But ya know, all good things come to an end. And today was that point.

He invited me over to his frat (I will keep the name disclosed...I have more class than that.)
-this also was where I went wrong. I knew frat boys were a bad idea. bad bad idea.

One of the first things he said to me was to shut up...yup. Picked me up, I said two words, and he told me to shut up. So that should have forecast how the rest of the night should go.

It was going okay..but he was acting so aloof. So I simply asked him what his problem was...and that's when it all blew up.
He proceeded to laugh in my face all the while telling me how much he didn't care about me, never would, never wanted to. How he was being an ass hole just to be an ass hole. Laughing in my face...I just don't know. I didn't ask to be invited over...he did that on his own free will. My mind has actually blocked off the things he said... I can't even remember.

I don't see why it couldn't just be "Hey, this isn't working out."
Not this giant thing it had to be. So, of course, I started crying. It hurt me to my very core. But then at the end, I was just yelling. And I didn't care who in that frat house heard me. And then, he told me to walk home in the pouring rain. Walk home, in the rain.

In the end, he did give me a ride. An awkward ride in rainy silence. I'm surprised he didn't start driving when my first foot was out the door. It may have actually been better to walk in the rain...quite possibly.

Now, I came back, laid on the bathroom floor, and cried. My mom told me I needed to get my emotion out. So I'm writing this.

I just thinks this stands as a warning to every single woman out there...don't talk to boys. Do not talk to a boy unless he kisses your feet, I don't know. I have no advice because clearly I don't know what I'm doing. Just don't do it.

The worst part of it all was...people told me he was gay. But I said no..no way. And I still don't think he is...he's just a really sick person. But I should have listened to those people anyways..

Where do I go from here? I don't know...back to Tinder, Match, maybe the local prison because I doubt the men there could be any worse than the men out here. I do take blame for it partially, I'm a hopeless romantic. And maybe that's my downfall. 

My mom told me to quit talking to athletes...this kid wasn't. Maybe I should join a convent. 

But I know I have to keep going, just like all you ladies out there. We deserve so much more. We can't let one or three or sixteen boys ruin our hearts. Their hearts must already be ruined...someone out there is sitting on the toilet probably, but he might just be the guy you fall in love with forever. You should never give up on Mr. Right, just because there are so many Mr. Wrongs.

And maybe the truth is, we are our own happiness. It's okay to go to dinner, the lake, shopping alone. In the end, you're the only person who will have to be with you every day for every second for the rest of your life. So the first step is accepting and loving ourselves. And that's my first step. Right now. And I want it to be yours too.

Love and Laughter, Alanna. 

The Biebs

Well, I think we all know where this post is coming from.

Exhibit A:

The "lovely" Justin Bieber.
I cannot stand this kid.
I mean, this is just the straw that broke the camels back for me.
People are saying, "He's just a nineteen year old; he's just spending his money."
Now, I'll act like you have a valid argument for the sake of argument, but you don't.
$75000 in ones to tip the stripper's? I mean I don't have that much money but since I'm a 19 year old kid should I be going to the Lumber Yard?...
I don't know, maybe.
No one, NO ONE, should be making excuses for this tool bag. He used to be a role model for kids... now he's the epitome of what we don't want kids to be.

But below, I have concocted a list of why the biebs has gone off the deep end. Enjoy.

1. He's trying to prove that he's an adult because he still looks like he's 13.

2. He's trying to prove his manliness...because he looks a lot like a masculine woman.

3. He thought maybe the jail food might bulk him up a little bit.

4. He's listened to the song "23" a few too many times.

5. He was looking for a Valentine. 

6. This is the precursor of his coming out as a woman actually. Number 2 may have been correct.

7. He didn't know any other way to see inside a prison to check out the life of a prison guard. (Considering he told a paparazzi she didn't have a real job...but you know, he does obviously...?)

No photo found...sorry.

8. Now, in regards to the drag racing, he wasn't. He had pooped and needed his diaper changed.

9. He's trying to pull a Britney...But he's just failing. Britney had mental issues that made her dangerous to her self. Not douche bag syndrome that made her dangerous to society.

Here is an article on said number:

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/joshua-ostroff/justin-bieber-arrested-dui_b_4651704.html

10. Or he's just a spoiled little brat who thinks he's entitled to everything. Why can't Justin Bieber just go away? Your music sucks, you're never gonna hit puberty, you're a criminal, and just a little punk. Do not stand up for this fool.

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Happy Friday.

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